Cosmic Motherhood | Magic + Joy | Lamorinda Resources

In honor of Cesarean Awareness Month:

Hi there! Welcome to my evolving and uncensored thoughts on navigating cesarean postpartum and the first few weeks (we keep it real here). Finding your way through this transformative period can feel overwhelming, but you’re not alone in the journey.

But First, Partners

While I’ll be sharing insights from the birthing person’s perspective, partners play a crucial role in providing support. I suggest viewing every action or recommendation below as something that can be supported or even led by a partner. From stocking up on essentials to offering emotional encouragement, their involvement has the power to really move the support needle.

Take for example, postpartum icicle pads. As a partner, ask yourself … How can I help here? Check the bathroom and make sure we’re stocked? Order more? Take the trash that quickly gets full out? Stand next to my partner and prep underwear / pads / perineal spray bottle while they sit on the toilet?

Each new role that a birthing person takes on also has many supporting and loving elements a partner can take on. Respecting and stepping into these opportunities to become community are key to family bonding and healing. Most importantly, you deserve the support. TIP: Forward this to post to your partner / support team.

Birth Experience

[trigger warning: difficult birth, birth trauma]

As an IVF warrior and now fierce postpartum advocate, my “birth story” is years long. However, the 101: At 39 years old and 41 weeks pregnant, I suffered a spontaneous uterine rupture while laboring, and delivered my daughter via an emergency cesarean. My road to recovery was traumatic, tough and long, as well as isolating (delivering in the height of the pandemic), and also with much reflection, beautiful in its own right.

Finding a birth support and medical team I trusted were key to navigating the journey, and so, my two very brief birth recommendations:

1. Trust yourself. You know your body, you are made for your baby and your baby is made for you and by you. Trust your intuition with both small and big choices you’ll need to make. ❤️
2. Find a medical team you trust, and a birth team (your partner, family, a doula) you trust to support you when you need it.

My belly birth was challenging and as many birthing people, mothers and parents can relate to, broke me open in a million ways. I’ll never be the same person again, but I wouldn’t want to be. From it I have devised my core guiding principles around trust, advocacy and recovery which I proudly use in every facet of life as a mother.

Postpartum Care Tips

Today I’ll share resources around cesarean postpartum recovery as well as holistic postpartum care, which is relevant for most types of birth, from cesarean to vaginal.

Pain Management

A c-section is major abdominal surgery, and your body will need time to heal – sometimes a long time. It’s normal for pain to diffuse over the first several weeks, and it’s also normal to continue to have pain in the area for months. Recovery is not always linear. Some things that help:

• Medication. The hospital will prescribe a cocktail of overlapping medications (every 4 / 6 / 8 hrs etc.). Make a grid on paper and map out exactly when to take every medication, and then religiously follow the schedule. Skipping or delaying can bring on unnecessary crushing pain that you don’t realize you still have until it floods back. I love living free of medication and healing with nature, but waves of untreated operative birth pain can debilitate you – you do not need to go through that. Also, if something isn’t working, speak up. There are a lot of different classes of pain medication your medical team can try if something is not effective for you. Always follow your medical team’s advice.

• Postpartum perineal ice maxi pads are great to put horizontally on the incision area, as the ice helps with pain reduction and bruising. Btw, you’ll see the brand frida everywhere, and quite frankly I think most of it is marketing. I thought the hospital ice pads were just as comfortable, and seemed to stay colder longer. At home, I highly recommend nyssa postpartum underwear with ice / heat inserts as a sustainable, reusable, and comfortable option if you’re still icing. Other options: frida c-section recovery kit, nyssa postpartum recovery set.

• Lidocaine patches. The hospital provided me with a stack to take home, which I would put near the incision, switching sides with every patch change. This helped immensely with pain management at home, especially as I started to move around the house and take care of my newborn. Amazon and drug stores stock OTC patches, but check with your medical team and get the best option available. 

• Silicone patches. Patches are all the rage, aren’t they? 😉 I was not aware of these postpartum, but have recently read a lot of great feedback. Typically recommended for frequent use after a few weeks postpartum. Options: Dermaclara C-Section Patch, Frida Mom C-Section Silicone Strips.

Lochia: Postpartum Bleeding

Or, better known as the postpartum period. Even with cesarian section births you’ll have this vaginal discharge, consisting of blood, mucus, uterine tissue and other materials from your uterus. The beginning resembles a fairly heavy period, and tapers off around 6 weeks (or more, or less …).

• Postpartum pads. Regardless if you birth vaginally or via abdominal delivery, you will not be able to use tampons. The hospital provides massive pads and mesh undies, but you’re welcome to bring your own. Several brands offer them, but again I didn’t think they were much or at all better. What I did think were a total step up were fully disposable postpartum panties. You pull one on and then pull off and throw the whole thing away. I LOVED these from Rael – organic cotton, breathable, and so soft. You’ll need more than you think, especially if you’re not used to using pads (definitely quicker changes than with tampons). You won’t want to sit around in wetness. My only post warning – Always brand sells awful scented ones popular on Amazon, but perfume is irritating and one can develop something resembling diaper rash (not my idea of twinning with baby 😉). Many votes here for the cleaner options.

• Peri bottle. Pads do their job, but are inevitably messy. To keep fresh while managing lochia, peeing, or passing stool, an upside down peri bottle is a game changer. The hospital will provide one, but unlikely an upside down version, which makes all the difference. Again, the brands will come at you like flies to honey on Instagram, but any brand will do. Options: Lasinoh Peri Bottle, Frida Peri Bottle.

• Bigger trash can. Does this sound silly? You’ll be creating far more bathroom waste than prior to delivery, so consider investing in a larger trash can, or keeping the diaper pail close to or in the bathroom – I love a good 2 for 1.

Pelvic + Abdominal Comfort

You are in a new body! A cosmic, honorable, miraculous body. It will feel different, possibly out of sorts, possibly foreign. It will take a lifetime to know your new body, but here are some things that immediately help:

• Belly bands. Workhorses that help pull it all together. I liked having a really soft stretchy one and wore it for the fews few weeks. Hospitals also give out very simple versions of these (I did have to ask a nurse to procure one). At times I liked the feeling of containment, while at other times it irritated me. You’ll find your balance. A great swap after the first few weeks is high waisted, belly-supporting clothing (originally yoga pants, but the options are endless now). Other binder options: Frida Adjustable Belly Binder, Frida C-Section Recovery Band.

• Supportive underwear. When you’re ready, undergarments that don’t hit at the incision line will be key. I went through so many options so I’m pretty adamant these are the best: Bodily All-In Panty. Several years postpartum, I now wear these: Subset High Rise Brief (20% off via this link). You read that right – I still do not wear anything that hits at the incision line almost 3 years later, the texture feedback remains too irritating.

• Numbness, scar massage and desensitization. After the initial healing period, many people experience nerve ending numbness, which means that all or parts of the incision and the area around it can feel totally numb, a very weird and dissociative feeling. For me, sensation came back very slowly but eventually fully, and pain receded slowly as well. I admittedly did not start to actively address this this early in my journey – but the more you get to know your scar, the more you can honor it. Be kind to yourself. See an easy-to read here: guide to c section scar massage and desensitization. It will heal, I promise.

• Pelvic floor therapy. Recovering from a cesarean section can be tough, beyond the birth and surgical recovery period, and especially on the pelvic floor. Our pelvic floor muscles support the bladder, uterus, bowels, and abdominal muscles, and are also intricately tied to the core – and very much impacted via cesareans. From diastasis recti to pelvic floor discomfort, a skilled pelvic floor physical therapist can address a wide range of issues in the coming months and years.

Breast + Nipple Care

First, a note on lactation POVs. There are a LOT of opinions out there around feeding breasts and babies, and we’re not here to discuss any of them (this time at least). If you are breastfeeding and / or pumping, and also if / when you wean, breast and nipple care is essential. Let’s chat about that:

• Discomfort: In the beginning, my nipples were so overwhelmed. My circle of postpartum moms would often send out a roll call text “how are your nipples today,” insert laughing and crying. Some things I liked using: a nipple cream (after feeding or during pumping), heating pads (so many options from microwavable to electric) and the hospital provided disposable ones (similar to click hand warmers used in camping). If you have a plain old heating pad that works too. You’re partially to fully topless a LOT postpartum, and I appreciated the snuggly warmth of these tools, in addition to the circulation benefits they provided. On the flip side, when nipples are inflamed you’ll find relief in cooling gel pads (a lot like the makeup under-eye patches, patches strike again!) that can be kept in the fridge and reused. Folks also swear by Silverette Nursing Cups, but at $60 a pop it was an investment I passed on. Trial and error – you’ll find what works and helps. The best (and cheapest) advice I received was to coat my nipples in a few drops of breastmilk (naturally antibacterial) after nursing or pumping, and let air dry. Second cheapest was to accurately measure your nipples for pump flange size (the ones included in the box rarely fit most women), as a poor fit will cause chafing. See a handy digital tool for that. *Eventually* your nipples are totally chill again … I promise!

• Blebs, clogs and mastitis, oh my: I developed blebs (yes, multiple!) – Homemade All Purpose Nipple Ointment (APNO) paired with hot showers utilizing Epsom salt in a haakaa helped me eventually (slowly) get over them. Massagers (so many options: vibrating, heated) helped me break up clogs, and in my one case of mastitis (at 11 months postpartum!) I quickly reached out to my GP for medication. With all instances, I did not wait long to seek help, and I’m glad I was so proactive in my care.

• Bras and easy-access clothing: Very soft bras and dresses that opened in the front. These can be maternity / postpartum / nursing brands or not, as long as you can pee without pulling pants on and off and bring out a boob quickly. Or just a robe. Some cesarean mamas prefer supportive seamless pants, I did not. All OK! Some brands I love and still wear non-postpartum because they’re beautiful and well constructed: Storq, HATCH, OddBird (technically not postpartum but SO comfortable, use this link for $25 off). For pumping specifically, don’t sleep on a does it all pumping bra (this one is the holy grail for me).

• But what about breast / bottle / baby feeding?: Important, and blog post coming soon! However I want to keep today’s focus on YOU and your recovery. Baby will get their time, I can assure you. This is one of my favorite topics, so if you have burning questions please drop me a line in the contact form, or reach out directly at cosmic.welcome@gmail.com. I’m here for you!

Nutrition: Baby AND Mama

Eating well is crucial for both your recovery and baby’s nourishment. Stock up on nutritious snacks, meal prep, and hydrate like it’s going out of style. 🙂 It can be tough to balance meals when recovering and taking care of a newborn, but nutrition, hydration and rest will aid your healing, give you energy, flush any medications taken during birth or postpartum, and critically impact breast milk production. You cannot make food if you do not eat food. Prioritize nutrition, don’t skip meals, and eat well. Remember, you are still an extension of your baby’s body … if you need the motivation!

Prior to birth I stocked my freezer, fridge and pantry full of nutritious quick meals and snacks, signed up for food delivery, and some prepped meals. There are so many options out there, but the point is – eat. You’re recovering and burning calories wildly and you need all the goodness nutrition, hydration and rest bring to make your body and baby happy. 

• Meal ideas + nutrition: The First Forty Days, @meganlimondoula, Mendwell 50+ recipes, Alex Riley Wellness

• National: Chiyo, Milky Oat, Welcome Home, Mama Meals postpartum meals – I haven’t used myself, but have seen them pop up recently. I would love to hear any personal experiences with the service, drop me a line if you have used them!

• Lamorinda + East Bay resources: Kitchen Doula postpartum meals (love love love, you can even add to a registry) and Jessie and Laurent (great for the family, also makes a great gift)

All. The. Help.

Don’t hesitate to lean on your support network during these early weeks. Any and all help you can get will … help you. Whether it’s hiring a postpartum doula or accepting offers of homemade meals, every bit of it counts.

• Postpartum Doulas. The first few weeks are unimaginably exhausting, bewildering, and beautiful. I was also very alone, given the height of the pandemic, no family nearby, and moving homes just one month postpartum (a wild story for another day!). I hired a postpartum doula team to support us, visiting a couple of times in the first two weeks, and then more sporadically over the next two months. I would come to look forward to these visits with the anticipation of Christmas eve. My doula made me feel like a human again each time she visited – cooking us meals, cleaning the heap of bottles and pumping supplies, helping with feeding, watching the baby so I could sleep, taking me on my first walk, as I was still too weak to push the stroller, and showing me how to baby wear … she was a life line. She also listened to me sob, made space for me, and provided me with resources when I didn’t know what to think. It’s what I imagine the village to truly provide, if we were not living in disjoined communities. East Bay: We worked with the lovely Urban Flora Doula, who holds such an important part in the early memories of our family. SF / North Bay: Chelsea from Born Doulas was our very early (home from the hospital) doula, and one of the most genuinely nurturing people I have ever met. Doulas make the world go round.

• Lactation Specialists . Another lifeline, when you find the right person. I worked with four different lactation consultants (LCs) in the early months with varying success. My takeaway – seek out those who put you and your hopes first, and that’s when you’ll flourish. The spectrum:
  • In-hospital IBCLC – This specialist visited me twice while I was in the hospital and brought me pumping supplies, as my baby was in the NICU and I could not yet breastfeed. On her second visit I noted difficulties I was having (chafing, cracked skin), to which she provided solutions (appropriately sized flanges). Beyond this though, I had nearly no idea what I should do once I got home while my baby was still in NICU. She did her best, but I imagine she was managing dozens of patients at one time.
  • In-home IBCLC #1 – Within my first week of bringing baby home from the NICU, I had a LC visit us in-home. She helped me position, feed and weigh the baby, but left me with a set of utterly confusing and conflicting instructions: triple feeding vs. SNS systems vs. skin to skin, etc.
  • Hospital outpatient IBCLC – The hospital offered a handful of return visits to a LC. The LC there was brash, disparaging about my efforts, and generally seemed confused herself. Consent seemed like an afterthought. My conclusion after this visit – the hospital was no place to get this right. I was on my own (queue panic).
  • In-home IBCLC #2 – Aka my Mary Poppins of LCs. This LC meant business, but considered me fully and first in the equation. She quickly eliminated our triple feeding schedules, built a plan to build my supply to match my daughter’s demand without completely depleting myself, showed my how to side lie and feed (a relief for cesarean moms), and built attainable daily to weekly goals for us. I continued to meet with her until ~ 6 weeks postpartum. I’ll forever be in debt of how respectfully, knowlegeably, and with zero shame she guided us on our mother-baby dyad journey. If you are in the SF Bay Area: I worked with Jen Kiatta, an absolute professional and mother herself.

• Meals + Childcare. Your community can easily drop off or send food post delivery via organization tools like MealTrain. If you have an older child you can also use these tools (or a shared google doc) to schedule childcare and play dates with your trusted community. You’ll have friends who want to visit to help (yes!), those while well meaning, might stress you out (feel free to say no), and those that are waiting for an invitation to be there for you and don’t know what to offer yet (help them help you!). When possible and comfortable, accept support offered to you – your community wants to help, because they know that this is a life changing season that you should not face alone!

• SF Bay Area Resources + Community. These communities offer a wealth of knowledge, camaraderie, and support for new parents.
  • Berkeley Parents Network – Moderated online network for parents who live in the San Francisco Bay Area
  • 510 families – Fun with kids in the East Bay
  • 925 Families – Go-to guide for all things family-fun in the 925 area and beyond
  • FB groups – Buy Nothing communities (see below), local mom + family focused groups, breastfeeding support groups (often run by IBCLCs – my all-time favorite: Bay Area Breastfeeding Support). Each group has its own vibe, and you’ll find yours. Also, my second post warning (remember when I said there was only one? 😉): The internet is an odd place. Take opinions, POVs, and “facts” with a grain of salt. Know who your trusted and qualified information sources are, and you’ll avoid getting swallowed up into the sometimes frantic tide of online discussions.
  • Postpartum support groups– If you’re local to the East Bay, you’re also warmly invited to join us in upcoming Cosmic Motherhood Mama + Me groups in Lamorinda. Building the village for postpartum moms is the heart of my work. ❤️

A Note On Consumerism

While I have shared product recommendations throughout this post, remember that less is often more. You don’t *need* most things, but Amazon (or Buy Nothing, your community, local retail …) is also a click away should you. Look for second-hand options and don’t hesitate to reach out to local communities for assistance.

• Thrifting. I bought pregnancy and postpartum wear heavily discounted from Poshmark (code SAMIA_KHAN for $10 off) or Thredup (click for 45% off). You can even search for “new with tag” for brand new but second-hand priced items.

• FB marketplace. Really great second-hand finds, from clothing to furniture to gear.

• Local buy nothing group. Facebook based, people give away baby stuff ALL the time, totally free. You’ll often find folks giving away unopened and unused postpartum supplies (as a girlfriend once told me, it’s a motherhood right of passage to give away your unused postpartum pads). Go to FB, under groups type “Buy Nothing” and the name of your neighborhood (ex. “Berkeley”) and several options for neighborhoods will show up. That’s all there is to it. Seriously. I get so much good stuff for free from my local group, and also give a ton away once we are done using it. I loooooove buy nothing!

You Are Not Alone

Regardless of circumstance, the first few weeks of parenthood are a whirlwind of emotions. It’s a wild ride. Your senses and emotions are overloaded, while your reserves are severely drained. You’re holding this demanding being that you’ve wanted but don’t know yet. I had moments thinking I had ruined my life, followed by moments of immense earth shattering love. It’s real, it’s super raw, it’s beautiful. Looking back you’ll have empathy for yourself, as anyone who has started a family will tell you that the first few weeks are just about surviving, finding a rhythm, and healing yourself. Be so kind to yourself.

It’s also okay to dream. In my early postpartum days my doula told me that eventually my baby would grow and develop her own personality, and in a million small and big ways show me why she was my daughter – what role she had come to play in our family. I really couldn’t fathom it – here I was, just barely managing. But it happened, it clicked and I blinked and I didn’t just have a baby, I had a family, and there was nothing better. I promise, it happens.

Embrace the journey, lean on your support system, and know that you’re doing an amazing job. 💫✨

Warmly,

Samia, Cosmic Mama

P.S. Did I miss something? I love hearing about what’s new and evolving in this space. Please drop me a line in the contact form, or reach out directly at cosmic.welcome@gmail.com. Thank you!

I am not a doctor and I do not provide mental health or medical services. The purpose of this page is solely for education and community support purposes. This information is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or psychiatric diagnosis, treatment, or advice. Please discuss all supplements, treatments and activity with your physician first. This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link. Thank you for your support.